Why Am I Suffering?

Who Sinned? Me or my Parents?

“Who sinned? Me or my parents?” This question or variation of it was something I often heard throughout my life, and I’ve even had it spoken over me a number of times. The general idea was that someone had to have sinned in my family for God to punish me by allowing or causing sickness or injury to fall upon me.

Before diving into this topic, I want to clarify that the context in which I’ve heard this question or been confronted with this belief has primarily been in relation to physical sickness or injury and that’s the lens through which I’ll be addressing this subject today.

Does God physically harm you because of generational sin?

Right from the start, I want to make it clear: the idea that God physically harms us due to something our family has done in past generations is a lie straight from the enemy. God does not operate that way.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve rejected this belief—especially as a little girl. But, in October of 2023 I had a head injury that lead to mild traumatic brain injury (TBI) and so in November of 2023 this question was resurfaced by someone. I brushed it off at first, but soon realized that I’d allowed a small crack of doubt to form in my mind. This belief had begun to find its way into my thoughts and started to fester quietly.

It wasn’t until nearly a month had gone by that I was reminded of a passage in John 9:1-5, where the disciples asked Jesus, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” This question echoed the very same thought people had put forward to me, and in Jesus’ response, we find the truth.

John 9:1-5 says,

“’As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ’but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.’”

I don’t know why God chooses to heal some and not others while on this earth. But there are two things I do know, and I’m going to share them with you.

God doesn't cause our suffering, but He does allow it.

When people say, “Who sinned that you may be born with/have this sickness or disability?”—the answer is, no one sinned to bring that on you.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I believe that God is a just God and that he does correct and rebuke. But the Bible says that he disciplines out of love and that his discipline is for our good.

Proverbs 3:11-12 says,

“My son, do not despise the LORD’S discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

And Hebrews 12:10-11 says,

“They (parents) disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. **No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

And so the scriptures are clear that the Lord disciplines and corrects those he loves and so I do want to point that out. And there are consequences for our actions and an example of this would be if a man was drunk and got behind the wheel, resulting in an accident that left him injured. Surely, he shouldn't say why did God allow this to happen to me, for we would know that he made those decisions himself, which lead him to that outcome.

But what about the man in the book of John who was blind from birth? What about the young child who gets cancer? What about the person who was driving safely, but got in a car accident and was left paralyzed? What about the people born into poverty and are therefore malnourished? The list could go on and on…

And so the question that is being asked… is what the disciples asked in the book of John “’Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’” And what was Jesus’ response? “’Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ’but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”

Your physical injury or illness isn't a punishment from God. God wants to use our suffering so that His glory can shine through us!

The Problem:

When we begin to believe the lie that God harmed us because of something we/our family did, our perception of God starts to shift. Instead of seeing God as loving, patient, kind, and just, we start to see Him as someone to fear in an unhealthy way. This distorted view can deeply and negatively impact our relationship with Him.

God’s true character:

Let’s take a moment to look at Scripture to remind ourselves of God’s true character:

• God is compassionate and forgiving – Psalm 86:15; Micah 7:19

• God is gentle – Matthew 11:28-29

• God’s love is sacrificial – 1 John 4:9-10

• God is a righteous judge – Revelation 20:11-12

• God disciplines – Hebrews 12:4-11

• God is patient – Romans 2:4; 2 Peter 3:9

• God is slow to anger – Psalm 145:8-9

• God is merciful and gracious – Hebrews 4:13-17

  
  

These are just a few of the many characteristics of God.

You are deeply loved by God. The question we should be asking is whether we will allow the enemy to use our struggles, sicknesses, or injuries to harm us further—or whether we will choose to allow God to be glorified through it.

A powerful example of someone allowing God to be glorified despite intense suffering is the story of Joseph.

In Genesis 50:20, Joseph says to his brothers,

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Think about Joseph for a moment. He was sold into slavery by his own brothers, wrongly accused, and thrown into prison for years. Yet, God used everything that happened to him to ultimately save many lives during a famine.

We cannot allow the enemy to take what was meant for evil and use it for evil. We must allow God to take what was meant for evil and use it for good. The key here is that we have a choice. We choose how we respond to the things in our lives.

You have a choice

Will you let the suffering and pain you’ve gone through pull you away from God or will you allow God to take what the enemy meant for evil and use it for good?

The later choice takes faith and trust. Maybe your first step is to allow God to heal the way you see Him. Take a moment to reflect on these verses:

Isaiah 41:10

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I pray that whatever step God is calling you to take today, you wouldn’t allow the pain of your past or present to separate you from Him. That’s what the enemy wants.

And may you be reminded through Psalms 139 how deeply God knows you and loves you.

"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Amen!”

I pray today that God will show you just how much He knows you and loves you. No matter what you're facing, He is with you, and He is good.

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Remember you are so loved, valued, and cherished.